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You might genuinely want connection. You might long for intimacy, partnership, closeness. And yet, when someone begins to move closer emotionally, something in you pulls back. You withdraw, y ou feel irritated, you focus on their flaws, you convince yourself you’re better off alone. If that sounds familiar, there is likely a pattern underneath it. When Closeness Once Felt Overwhelming Attachment patterns form in early relationships. If emotional closeness once felt intrusive

Many adults come to counselling feeling frustrated with themselves. They might say things like, “I know where this comes from, but I still keep reacting the same way,” or “Why do I feel like this in relationships, even when nothing ‘bad’ is happening?” Often, what’s underneath isn’t a lack of insight or effort, it’s an attachment pattern that developed early in life. What are attachment patterns? Attachment patterns are ways we learned to relate to others, ourselves, and emo